Went to St Mary's next to Paddington Station. It must be a good sign if the most beautiful woman in all of London catches your eye. Dark hair with dark eyes.
Got shoulder x-rayed for Dr Kadar in Newton (?) Street, typical London doctor, Lebanese, 60+, with horse pictures and antiques in his tiny office. Gruff but friendly type. Probably told too many people they were gonna die.
Google sez: Another layer of the onion is peeled as new levels of reality appear to you now. Don't worry if you sink deeper into the current set of circumstances, for this is just your way of finding the best path through the noisy distractions. Today your determination is strengthened by a certainty that you are on the right track, so hold fast to your dreams.
Well today my thought is this: There is a place and job for everybody and it is your task and responsibility to find it and your fault if you don't. Others may of course help you but they probably cannot tell you where to go. Only you know. Lots of opportunities appear in front of you all the time and you choose or duck away. The right one will simply fit so smoothly into your life that there is hardly any disturbance. If there is a disturbance there is a mis-fit.
Life does not necessarily consist of having things. It is much more likely to consist of doing things. But the things that you do must fit you like a glove. In a civilised country like this it is possible. In South Africa it was very unlikely. There is just not enough infrastructure.
If you want to grow and take the gaps that are offered they must be there. It is like learning to fly a plane, or sail a boat. Your own speed makes the limits, not the environment. On the contrary, the environment is always there to test you and fiercely too.
The past 10 years and the contact with people have made you think that there are limited resources for work and excitement and that they have to be fought over. On the contrary, that is like saying the sea is a calm place where there is no danger and the danger has to be fought over. It's like lying in the bath and pretending it's the sea, holding your breath in 2 inches of water. The real sea is out there, go swim in it. Living in Cape Town, that is in actual fact a very boring and limiting place. You have escaped, Loutjie, to one of the most exciting places in the world where possibilities are endless.
The infrastructure has to exist and here it is made up of all the people around you who do these basic things. The people working in shops, cleaning up, repairing buildings, booking you in and out of hotels, in hospitals, even the doctor in his consulting room. They are the basic structure and they are happy to be it.
Similarly the jobs around you are basic structure jobs and others. The newspapers have to be pu
blished, there are people who want them and they are part of the structure, ast least as it is now. The fact that you realise that it may be different does not mean that you have to change it or worry about it. Just let it be for the time being and find your own little niche.
Every day you will see and feel things which will help you get to the right place. The place where you will fit right in, and where they are waiting for you. They are waiting for you there Loutjie, but you have to find it!
Often one finds things by avoiding others. List those thing that are obvious, that are potential traps, and in this way build up where you really want to go, should be going.
Computers are tools
People are Interesting
Nature is vast
OK, so it costs 7 pounds to watch a movie here. No, it's a movie house, not the La Scala...
Your Blogger's Horo: Don't consider yourself a failure just because you might be stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place. You may not be able to move freely enough to create the changes you desire. You are positioned better than you realize, but in order to make the most of it, you must open your mind wider than ever before. Then, hang on tight, for something big is about to happen.
