The Great Mouse Hunt

This guy filling my plate with rice and a big hunk of turkey is the Kurdish muslim guy who is also the head cleaner. He has one assistant, a sweet little South American who looks exactly like a Capey chick. But on with the story.

Let's call him Rufus...

He cooked the turkeys on Xmas and they came out surprisingly flavourful and moist. After we were all seriously worried. But life goes on. Last night there was a new Italian guy, Alfredo, in the room and Jozef the Slovak (white Columbia jacket) was upset because he got fired on Xmas day. So the mice came out in force and raided the bin. They managed to get into the bin and make a lot of (mouse-level) noise. Of course I just usually take the bag and put it in the toilet.

No, this new guy Alfredo kicks up a racket and today insists that the mice be killed. Black plague and all that. Was the black plague particularly bad in Italy? Was it recent?

So Rufus sneaks in with a pot of poison early this morning and sees me watching him. Later he has to explain.

"What kind of men are these?" he says. I laugh because this mouse is 1 inch long although very plump and healthy looking. But you never know with these Black plague mice, they probably look the same as other mice.

In his country, Rufus says, the rats are as big as dogs and no-one is afraid. As a matter of fact, they are a great local delicacy, if killed in the proper way of course.

Now our room is covered with rat poison and soon with mouse bodies. Will this killing never end? And now I am being followed around London by this Russian KGB-looking car. It is a 1993 Moskva GT and rather beautiful. I have seen it five times in the last 2 weeks. But more about this car later, if I'm still around.